Be Careful for Our Baby
by Chenamon
Summary: Betty Teapot leaves Earl Kettle (Elder Kettle) to take care of their baby girl, Winrey Wineglass. He decides to take her out for some fresh air and they both get more than they bargained for.


Betty hurriedly rushed around the house, collecting the last few bottles she needed. She whirred back and forth, looking high and low for one last bottle.

"Ah, I'm missing one!" she exclaimed. She looked around and near the couch; she spotted a small baby with a clear glass head. She was gnawing on a bottle. "Winrey..."

Betty reached down and picked up her child. She planted a kiss on the baby's head before pulling the bottle from her mouth and putting in her pacifier.

"Earl?! You're supposed to be watching her, you know!" she called. A kettle that was hazel-brown in colour came down the stairs.

"I know, I know, Betty." he grumbled taking the child into his hands. She finally put the bottle into her bag and turned back to her husband.

"She's made of glass AND she's a baby, so that makes her TWO times more fragile. Don't do anything rash, Earl." She picked up the bag and slung it over herself. "Bye, sweetie! Mommy loves you!" she said cheerfully as she gave the child one last kiss on her wee glass's forehead.

"I mean it, Earl. If I catch a single scratch or chip on her head, you'll be in for it." she said, her tone almost immediately flipping to a grim tone. And with that she was gone. Earl just sighed and flopped into the couch.

"This is a real pain in the caboose... What am I supposed to do with you?" Earl asked raising Winrey up. She sucked her pacifier silently. "What's that, Winrey? You wanna go for a little ride? Yeah? Yeah?" He managed to get a giggle out of her. "Great! Let's go, then."

He headed outside and put Winrey into a bag on his back. He then mounted his brown horse and was off. They galloped a ways off from home. They passed through a forest, then a field. Soon enough they made it to a meadow where Earl stopped briefly. It was filled with pale coloured flowers, blues, pinks, and whites mostly. A small stream gently flowed by. He dismounted his horse and pulled Winrey out of the bag. He placed her gently in the grass and then lay down beside her. He picked up a strand of grass and began chewing it.

"Where does Betty get off thinkin' I'm 'irresponsible'?" he scoffed. "I'm as much a good parent as she is. I can watch ya just fine. Nothing ain't ever happened to ya! So what's the use of being so high-strung?" He closed his eyes and sighed, blowing the grass strand out of his mouth. The sound of other horses and hollering filled the air. He could feel the vibrations of their hooves approaching. Before Earl could even react, a large group of cacti ruffians scooped Winrey up from under his spout.

"WINREY!" he screamed.

It was as if a switch clicked in his head as he quickly jumped onto his horse and pursued them. His heart was racing, his hands were shaking, and all he could think about was getting Winrey back. He rode after them and soon enough he caught up to the group.

"Give me back my daughter!" he demanded.

"Heh! Fat chance, steam boy! Glass kids sell for big money and we ain't missin' that chance! Right, boys?" the leader of the bunch announced. The boys whooped in agreement. "B'sides. This one's a cutie. She'll sell for REAL good money. Sully! Reuben! Take care of him.

Without hesitation, the two cacti blocked Earl's way with their horses. This spooked his horse, forcing him off as it bucked. He fell with a thud and a piece of him chipped off.

"Heh, we're gonna have fun with this one." Reuben laughed, pulling out a bat with an overabundance of nails in it.

The rest of the group continued on their way back to their base. The boss looked down smugly at his prize.

"Who would've thought we'd find a dish baby so easily! They're so rare these days! Heh heh!" the boss chuckled. He tickled Winrey and she laughed. Her pacifier fell out her mouth and they rode off leaving it in their dust. She soon stopped laughing and began whimpering.

"Uh oh." the boss muttered. "Allen! Pass me one of your leaves."

Without wavering, he passed the boss the leaf. Boss stuck it in Winrey's mouth and she mellowed out.

"That should keep her quiet for now. Let's pick up the pace, boys. Don't want that kettle catching up."

They continued on their way.

While Earl didn't make it out without a few dents, he managed to overpower the two plant men. He grabbed one of their hats and mounted one of their horses. He continued his pursuit.

He finally caught up to the group and wasn't playing around. He made with the finger gun and shot several of the ruffians off their horses. The boss whipped around.

"You again?! I thought my boys dealt with you!" he hissed.

"Do you think I'm just gonna let you go off with my kid?! You're crazy!" Earl snapped. "You best be giving her back or I _will_ shoot you!"

"Heh, you wouldn't."

A shot whirred by boss's head.

"Cripes, man! You want her? Better catch her!" And with that, the boss tossed her off and fled. Whoever was left of the gang followed suite. Earl basically flew off the horse to catch her. He landed with a hard thus as he impacted the dirt. He caught her, but all that action startled her. She began crying after that so Earl sat up and began shushing her. Once he calmed her, he checked her for any injuries. Thank the Chalice, she was unharmed. He sighed, finally climbing back onto the horse and made his way back home.

He finally reached home and flopped into the couch.

"Oh my lord, I ain't leaving the house for the rest of the day. Wouldn't you agree, Winrey?" he asked. Winrey just stared then yawned. "I'll take that as a yes."

He just continued normal everyday activities, listening to the radio, feeding Winrey, the works. It wasn't until early in the evening when Betty returned home.

"I'm back~!" she announced. She pretty much ripped Winrey out of Earl's grasp and planted several kisses on her head. "How's my little princess doing?" she asked, with her voice trailing off. She inspected what her baby was gnawing on.

"Earl... What's this Winrey's teething on...?" She asked quietly.

"Ain't it just her pacifier...?" he asked back.

"It certainly isn't! It's a leaf! Aloe to be exact! And from the looks of it, it's from the cactus gang!"

Busted. She went upstairs and tucked Winrey in. He waited anxiously for the storm to come. Before she even reached the bottom of the staircase, a shot whirred by his head.

"Cripes, Betty! What's the matter with you?!"

"Were you seriously messing around with them?! With our baby?!"

Another shot flew and he ducked, a vase getting KOed in the process.

"Hey, to be fair _THEY_ messed with me. I just wanted to take her out for some fresh air and they tried to kidnap her!"

Another shot flew by and straight through the wall.

"Betty, are you trying to take the house down with us in it?!"

"If this house goes down, I'm making sure YOU'RE the only one in it!" she hissed.

"Come on, Tea, you know I didn't mean to!"

"Don't you ' _TEA_ ' me, Earl! And you're an awful liar!"

A couple of shots flew by wrecking more furniture.

"I am so mad I can't even _AIM_ properly!"

"Then just _TALK_ to me instead of trying to kill me!"

"NO!" She chased him around the living room, shooting at him like a crazed hunter. When she finally calmed down after about half an hour of chasing him around downstairs, it was a total mess. Some furniture got annihilated, there were holes through the walls, dishes got shattered. A tornado may as well have ripped through the whole downstairs. They were both catching their breath. Finally when they were both somewhat relaxed, Earl spoke up.

"Betty... I'm sorry... You know I love our baby..." he pleaded.

She was silent.

"You may sleep on the couch tonight." she huffed.

"Tea, come on-"

"Good night, Earl." She stomped up to their room and closed the door. He sighed. He climbed into the couch, or at least what was left of it, and curled up to sleep. Hopefully she'd cool down a little tomorrow...

The next morning when Earl got up, Betty was up cleaning the mess she made. He got freshened up and came to assist her. She sighed.

"Guess I got a little out of hand last night?" she asked sheepishly.

"A little?! I actually thought you'd do me in, Tea!" he chuckled. "I know how much Winrey means to you-no -to us. I'm going to try my best to keep her safer from here on out."

"Clinky promise?" she asked.

"Clinky promise." he replied, gently clinking his head against hers. She smiled and gave him a peck. She placed her hands on her hips and looked around.

"We're definitely gonna need a lot of new furniture. At least I got that ugly vase outta the way."

"Hey! That was a gift from my auntie! You did that on purpose!"

"I did NOT!" she laughed.

"You totally did!" he guffawed. He squirted her with the spray bottle and began chasing her around. They laughed as they continued cleaning and fixing their house. Earl learned how precious the life of his child was and that you don't mess around with Betty. Those are two lessons he surely would not forget.


End file.
